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How to Listen to Your Child.

Writer's picture: Belinda - Ollie CoachBelinda - Ollie Coach


Mother engaging with child
Mother engaging with child

Listening to your child is an essential part of nurturing a strong and healthy relationship with them. It helps build trust, understanding, and a sense of security. Here are some effective ways to listen to your child:

1. Give Them Your Full Attention

When your child wants to talk, make sure to give them your undivided attention. Put away distractions, such as your phone or laptop, and make eye contact. This shows your child that you value what they have to say.

2. Be Patient and Open

Children may take longer to express their thoughts or feelings. Be patient and allow them to communicate at their own pace. Keep an open mind and avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences.

3. Use Active Listening Techniques

Engage with your child by using active listening techniques. This involves nodding, using verbal affirmations like "I see" or "I understand," and reflecting on what they’ve said by paraphrasing or summarising their points. This helps to avoid misunderstandings.

4. Validate Their Feelings

Acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them. Phrases like "I can see why you’d feel that way" or "That sounds really tough" can help your child feel heard and understood.

5. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Encourage your child to share more by asking open-ended questions. Instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," ask questions like "How did that make you feel?" or "What do you think about that?"

6. Be Empathetic

Try to put yourself in your child's shoes and understand their perspective. Showing empathy strengthens the emotional connection between you and your child and makes them more comfortable to open up.

7. Avoid Judgment and Criticism

Avoid judging or criticising your child's thoughts or feelings. This can shut down communication and make them hesitant to share in things with you in the future. Instead, focus on understanding and supporting them.

8. Follow Up

After your conversation, check back with your child on the topic you discussed. This shows that you care and are genuinely interested in their well-being.

By incorporating these listening strategies, you can create an environment where your child feels valued and understood, which will ultimately encourage a nurturing and open relationship and a calmer, happier child.

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